by: Kymberli Whittaker
“Rape” is such a dirty word. It connotes feelings of
anger, rage and condemnation once uttered or even implied, and with good
reason. Rape is an act so abhorrent that it shifts power from the victim to the
person committing the act. Rape is about power, men know this and women know
this as well.
We warn our females to be careful and try to avoid
situations when possible to avoid assaults (as far as it is possible- women are
not responsible for being raped EVER), but what about our men. The sad reality is that men may find
themselves at the centre of a false rape accusation and these men are blind-sided
as their world turns upside down.
The truth is some women
may choose to lie about rape for different reasons- Men read, learn and protect
yourself. Here are a few reasons:
1) To
hide consensual sex from a family member or spouse
Shame is a hell of a thing. Some persons instead of
admitting when they have fallen prey to their emotional desires or sexual
feelings, will lie, cry, and plead the blood of Jesus against their consensual
partner in a tryst.
How could a woman fall for her
gardener? How could the person who attends church religiously with their family,
have sex with a man of cloth? How could a student willingly admit that she
slept with their teacher for good grades to her parents who have sent her to
school?
Once discovered by a third
party, a woman may blurt out rape, or be pressured to say that they have been
violated to alleviate the shame felt from the sexual association. Men if you
have more to lose than the woman when having sex- Walk away!
2) “Hell
hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
When breaking off a relationship, tact is not a bad thing. Vindictiveness
spawned by a bad break up is a common factor that should actually leave men
quaking in their shoes. Men, in situations where you are plainly wrong, such as
cheating, abuse, etc- You leave yourselves vulnerable and open to attack.
Rape is a crime that often rests on credibility- it is hard to disprove even with physical proof of sex whether a woman has been raped, because there is a mental element of consent, or lack thereof that is essential for the act to be considered a crime . A “Tough back” man is no match for a crying woman on the stand in court. Men embattled in a divorce, beware! Are you fighting for custody of your kids when you have moved on and have a new girlfriend or baby momma? Beware!
“Payback is really a *****”- And the false rape claim is
seen as justified punishment for a wandering spouse.
3) The
woman is unstable or is a chronic liar
Sex is not going anywhere. Men
before jumping into bed, find out more about the person you would like to
bed. A first name and marital status is
not good enough. Some ppl are crazy and some others are simply waiting for the
opportunity to bed someone of influence so that they can use the art of blackmail
to get what they want. Dating before sealing the deal is not a bad move- you
may save yourself the trouble of being labeled as a sexual predator in the
future.
Women can use a rape claim to
their advantage. Remember that once a report is made, you are arrested by
CISOCA with no immediate prospects of bail. The more gruesome the details given
by the woman, the lesser your chances of receiving bail within a couple months.
Jamaica doesn’t test for DNA to prove that sex with an
accused person did not occur- Do not be fooled by these crime shows on TV- doesn’t
apply in our context, so it is harder to eliminate a man as a suspect once the
accusation is made
Even if you beat the charge, being accused of rape attaches
a stigma or stench to your name that is near impossible to get rid of. Men take heed and beware!
kymberli.whittaker@gmail.com
